if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
