Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
