just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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