I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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