I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just fell off a train. Bad.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
