mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
