I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
