did you get engaged???
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
