am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
