Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
