omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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