He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
