I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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