Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize