I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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