I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
