so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
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Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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