So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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