I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
