i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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