remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
