last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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