Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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