I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
