all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
