It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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