I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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