at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So squirting runs in the family.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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