I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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