i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup