dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
well you can't waste a boner
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.