she looked like the before picture.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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