Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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