So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
