dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Porn is love you can see.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
