At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
