It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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