Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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