i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
