Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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