she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
