i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
