You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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