Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think your dad took our porno
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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