your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
