Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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