if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
