I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
