whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.