I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.