I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
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a search helicopter?!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
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I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"