can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
