Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
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Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So much Jack, so little girl.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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