Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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