just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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