so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
