when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Come on in and take your pants off
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