I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
