My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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