no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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