A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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