I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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