I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
