He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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