She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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