There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
