He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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