I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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