pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
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she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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